It can be difficult when a relationship ends, especially if it has been long-term or it ends on bad terms. Your emotions are all over the place and it might even seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, if they suggested the breakup. But wait, let’s take a look at the top five ways to get over a breakup and you too can move on and be happy again with or without a partner.

Do You – The first thing you want to do is, “Do You.” In case you don’t know what that means, it is simply pulling yourself together. Get a long overdue makeover (new hair color/cut, try out new makeup, maybe eyelash extensions), go on a shopping spree and pick up a few new outfits, join a gym and start looking great again – we call this “revenge body.” Yes, so the next time you see them, they will say, “Wow, you look fantastic!” No, we don’t want their attention but we want them to know life goes on, not to mention you will feel great and look wonderful.

Just taking some time to get your personal life into perspective will do wonders for your mind, body, and soul. Clear out all of those negative feelings and start thinking about a brighter, happier future. Remember, it all starts from within so cleanse yourself and purge out all the bad habits.

Clean House – Cleaning house has always worked for me, and you don’t have to wait for spring to do some spring cleaning. If any of your ex’s items were left at your house, get rid of them. Rearrange your furniture, change the paint color of your bedroom, redo the bathroom (changing the color scheme with towels and a few new accessories is an inexpensive but great way to spruce up things). Just make some kinds of changes. You will be surprised at how much happier you will be coming home to see your new and improved living space.

Get Out – Sometimes while in relationships we stop hanging out with our friends, we don’t do get-togethers, or heck we don’t even talk to our friends that often. Well, now that the dead weight is gone reach out to your friends, get social, and have some fun. Yes, you might have to apologize for not being around, but we all know how it is when your partner doesn’t really want you hanging out with your single friends and we’ve all tried to accommodate them at some point in time. If they are true friends, they understand and will accept your apology.

Cut the Ties – One of the worst things about breaking up is when your ex wants to remain friends. Even if it wasn’t a bad breakup, there is no need to call each other and be buddy-buddy. After all, if things were that good you would not have broken up, right! It’s best to have a final discussion to tie up any loose ends and then cut the ties.

If there are kids involved (not together) let the kids know that even though you are breaking up, you still care and you still will be there for them, if that’s the case. If there are family members that you have bonded with, let them know that you’re still around, but you won’t be at all of the family functions or “chilling” with the family. There is nothing worse than seeing the ex with his new girl. Even though you don’t want them back, deep down it’s a bit awkward so opt-out of showing up for every family function.

That’s not to say cut the family off. Sometimes we form strong bonds with family members and we don’t want to end it – after all we broke up with the man/woman and not the family. The flipside of that is, you don’t want to be showing up all the time as if you’re thirsty for his/her attention. I say, attend things like birthday parties or informal get-togethers but avoid the more intimate gatherings like Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Start Fresh – One of the worst things we can do after a breakup is hold on to the negatives and use that to prevent anyone new from getting too close. First, never judge the next person by the last person’s actions – not cool. Second, take your time getting back into dating, ask questions, and listen to what the person is talking about. Sometimes if we just listen we can learn so much about a person, even things they don’t want us to know just seems to slip out if they’re not the right person.

Lastly, if you meet someone there is no need to rush into anything. Whether your last relationship ended peacefully or you had to get a restraining order to get them away, don’t pre-judge others because of your prior experiences. Take your time and never let anyone coerce you or make you feel guilty for not moving faster than you are. If a person is not willing to take it slow, it’s not the person for you.

You may have to go to several bad apples before you find the right one, or you might just be happy by yourself but trust and believe, the ball is in your court and you call the shots. Utilizing the top five ways to get over a breakup will lessen the heartache and ease the tension and make dating fun and not stressful.

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